How to Put an End to Homework Arguments, by Dr. Brad Schwall
“What homework do you have?…Have you done your homework?...Do your homework!” Whether your child is in elementary school or high school, homework can cause struggles. The symptoms of a homework power struggle are:
When you’re anxious about your child’s work, you’re carrying the problem and your child doesn’t have to be anxious. When you nag, your child can just be mad at you and your nagging rather than focusing on the work at hand. When you focus on routines and limits, your child has nothing else to focus on but the work.
What not to do:
What to do:
1. Calm down – anger and anxiety only cause distractions
2. Break it down – break down work into smaller steps
3. Write it down – make a list of what needs to be done and when it needs to be done
4. Sit it down – the only way work can get done is when your child is seated and focused at a time specifically set aside for the work
Your child must take on the responsibility to complete the work. Provide structure and keep emotions out of it. You have varying levels of influence at the different ages. Move from directing to equipping to allowing the child to be responsible for his own actions. Allowing the natural consequences of not doing work can teach a lesson. Still, the ultimate goal is to develop good habits. Habits form through practice and repetition. Be clear about expectations, establish routines, and allow your child to be responsible for the work and the grades.
Stay tuned for tips on motivation.
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